mommagreenfish

*Blogger’s note: I wrote this a week and a half ago, but haven’t found time to post it until now. Ooops!*

I’ve written before about being shy, and about the idea that it’s different than being introverted.

For a long time, I thought the two were the same thing (it’s actually how I learned the word synonym, even if couldn’t say it properly).

With my last post, I talked about the special-ness of solitude when walking in the rain, and it got me thinking about the difference between enjoying being alone and not enjoying the company of others.

Ever since I was small, I valued solitude. Not to the exclusion of everything else, but I knew how to enjoy things like curling up with a book or being the first one downstairs for breakfast in the morning.

In fact, the enjoyment of quiet mornings is the biggest factor in becoming a morning person - even in university, I would be up before 8 - and usually by 7. Even now, I find it hard to sleep in. (Though I have managed to do it on occasion!)

Tangents about being a morning person aside, yesterday’s walk in the rain made me examine just how many things I do alone purely for the enjoyment of being alone.

I enjoy yoga classes - but feel most comfortable when the class is small, and I can focus on my own experience. I like to do yoga at home - except I’m pretty bad at it, so I still need an instructor to tell me if my bum is sagging in plank.

I still love reading, and walks in the rain, and I relish those times when I can crank the music and clean the house because the kids and my husband are away.

But at the same time, I crave social interaction. I always feel happier if I’ve managed to visit the local café, and need to throw or attend a party every couple of weeks or I get cranky.

I love being in the same room as my husband at night, even if he’s watching sports and I’m knitting - because I like being around another person to blurt my ideas out to.

I’m beginning to wonder if the “solution” to being shy is to allow for the enjoyment of those moments of solitude, and then to give myself permission to act on my social instincts, too.

I’m going to test this theory out for the rest of the month, aqnd let you know how it turns out. Happy knitting!

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